Unexpected Love: A Steamy Standalone Instalove Romance Page 2

  “I see,” I say, though I still don’t see how this has anything to do with me. I’m glad she came by, but I don’t know how I can help her expect by showing her that she was meant to be my woman. She swallows, looking a little uncomfortable.

  “I’m sorry to be a bother…it’s just that I can hear a lot of noise coming from in here. I just wondered if everything’s okay? I’m trying to study, but I can hear something scratching at the walls…and I guess I just wanted to check-in.”

  “Oh. That,” I say, feeling a little disappointed.

  Some wild part of me thought she was here for me, like a gift from God. But of course, that’s ludicrous. How would she know how to find me, a man she’s never seen before? Still, it does feel like we were fated to meet. I look into her deep azure eyes and see a softness there. Is she having the same thoughts I am? Controlling the same urges? It seems impossible that a beautiful young woman like her would want anything to do with me. And yet, here we both are, a little breathless, eyes connecting more than they should, a kind of heat lingering in the air between us that can’t be ignored, or is this all in my head

  “So what is it?” Elle asks, pushing with a small smile. I chuckle so caught up in her that I’ve forgotten how to hold a normal conversation.

  I step to the side to let her in.

  “Come and see for yourself.”

  Elle hesitates, but only for a second, and then she steps inside my home. It sends a new surge of lust through me, knowing she’s on my territory now. Here, I can do whatever I want. Here, no one has to know the dirty thoughts roaming around in my mind.

  Except maybe Elle…when I tell her exactly what I want from her.

  But she’s busy looking at the source of all the noise from the past few days. I smile fondly at my dog, who is hobbling around the apartment with her paw in the air and a cone around her neck. My rambunctious Border Collie, Maisie, hurt her paw on a piece of glass last week, and since then, she’s been wandering around like a lost puppy, whining to herself and wishing for the whole thing to be over.

  “That’s Maisie,” I tell Elle as she bends down to pet her. “I’m sorry if she’s been making a lot of noise. She’s literally been driving herself up the walls. She’s not happy about the cone of shame.”

  “Oh you poor thing,” Elle coos, petting Maisie’s head. She’s smiling now and it’s a good look on her. The atmosphere between us feels more relaxed now, but the tension inside me hasn’t gone away. I still want her, still crave her like I’ve never craved anything before. I’ve never been a man who wants for things. I have plenty of money, a nice apartment, plenty of friends, and Maisie to keep me company.

  But the one thing missing has always been a woman. I’ve never indulged in a one-night stand, never settled for the women who throw themselves at my feet. I’ve always wanted to save myself for the right person, there’s no point in sleeping around if it’s only going to leave me feeling cold in the end. Now that Elle is here, petting my dog in my apartment, smiling so radiantly, it feels like only she can be that person. The one I’ve waited for for so long.

  But she’s so young. She can’t be older than twenty-one.

  She probably doesn’t even know what she wants, because who does at that age? But I’ll bet it never crossed her mind to fall for someone twice her age. Then again, I can hold out hope. I never thought I’d fall for someone half my age, either. Strange things happen all the time.

  Is it so crazy to assume she might want me the way I want her?

  But even if she does, can I really go there? Steve would kill me. He’d never forgive me for the thoughts I’m having right now of ripping his daughter’s clothes off and having her right there on the floor where she sits petting my dog. I shouldn’t even be this close to her, knowing I can’t handle my own impulses well enough. But she’s here now, and there’s no chance in hell I’m asking her to leave. I want to see where this goes. I want to know whether I’m imagining the sparks in the air.

  And there’s only one way to find out.

  “Good girl,” Elle murmurs, petting Maisie’s ears. She looks up at me. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea you had a dog. I guess the noises were just a little distracting.”

  “That’s alright,” I tell her. “You couldn’t have known. And I’m sorry if she’s driving you crazy. She’s even been making me a little loopy this week. But she’s an angel usually. She very rarely misbehaves, my perfect little companion. Especially since it’s just the two of us here.”

  Is it my imagination or does Elle’s perk up when I drop that nugget of information? Does she care whether I’m single or not? I’m hoping it matters. She stands, suddenly shy again, turning away like she can’t seem to meet my eye. I grin to myself. So she does care.

  “Well, she seems like the perfect companion,” she says, her voice soft. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here. I’ve taken up enough of your time already.”

  “Nonsense. It’s always nice to meet someone new,” I say, concerned that I’m about to lose her.

  If she leaves now, then I might never get my shot with her. It’s not like I can ask Steve to set us up. If I asked, he would likely swing at me for my troubles. But I can see I’m about to lose her as Elle raises her eyes to meet mine again. She smiles but there’s a hint of sadness in there.

  “It was nice to meet you too,” she whispers. “I have to get back. I have a project to work on…”

  “Sure,” I say, though every fiber of my being wants to tell her to stay. Wants to grab her before she can leave and kiss her so hard that she forgets where she is. I don’t want this feeling to end. I’ve waited so long to feel this way. I can’t let it be over so easily. But she’s already shaking her head to herself like she’s telling herself what a fool she is for even indulging in the idea of us. And I get it. She knows this should never happen. She knows I’m too old for her, that she’s got her whole life ahead of her to find a man on her own level.

  But when she looks at me one last time, our eyes lock. And when she does, I see the pain in her gaze as she tries to talk herself into leaving. She literally has to tear her gaze away, and I feel the pain as heavily as she does. Why is she doing this? I can tell she doesn’t want to. She wants to be here with me. I know it. So why won’t she stay?

  “See you,” she whispers as she heads for the door.

  I want to follow after her, never let her go, but I’m man enough to know that I have to let her go. I can’t make this choice for her. It has to be her own free will. As she shuts the door behind her, I let out the heaviest sigh of my life. I came so close to having it all. Now, what do I have left? Nothing at all.

  Without her, life is nothing. Without her, I can’t go on. Just one moment with her is enough to change my life forever.

  I feel Maisie brush against my legs, whining. She can sense my turmoil. I bend down and pet her head gently.

  “I know,” I tell her. “Isn’t she perfect?”

  Chapter Three

  Elle

  The moment the apartment door shuts behind me, I lean against it, practically gasping for air, unable to believe what just happened. I’ve got a million emotions swirling inside of me.

  What in the world just happened?

  One second, I was about to confront the neighbor about all the noise they were making. The next, I was in the apartment of the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, petting his dog and picturing the life we could have there together.

  Am I going crazy?

  I shake my head to myself, trying to shake off all the thoughts that I’m having. This is madness. I’m making up a fantasy in my own head. Of course, I’m not going to make a life with Will. He’s twice my age, for one thing. My family would never allow it, even though I want it more than anything in the entire world. And then there’s the fact that he’s way out of my league. What would a man like Will want with me, a plump girl who is basically young enough to be his daughter?

  I’m so shaken up that I sink all the way to the floor
with my back to the door. So this is what love feels like. A thundering heart. Sweating palms. And racing thoughts. I can’t get him out of my head. I can’t forget his scent. He smelled so damn manly that it turns me on just to think about it. And then there was his body…his bulging muscles…his broad shoulders…his sexy chest…

  I look down at my body and almost laugh.

  Am I crazy? In what world would he ever want me? He clearly takes care of his body. He probably looked at me and thought I was gross and lazy. I’ve always been curvy, and I always will be. Men like him don’t go for women like me.

  I feel a pain in my chest and tears stream down my cheeks. It hurts to be so harsh on myself, but it’s better that I face reality now. I can daydream about him all I like, but at the end of the day, he’s always going to be out of my league, untouchable where I’m concerned. He’ll never be mine, it’s a simple fact. I’m not the first to fall in unrequited love and I won’t be the last, but the hold he has on my heart already is insane. I never knew that feelings could become this strong so quickly. I had no idea the effect one person would be able to have on me. Now, I know that he’ll always have a hold on me, and I don’t even want him to let go. I guess I’ll always hold on to those few minutes in his apartment as a pipe dream I never got to live out.

  But I need to pull myself together.

  Sniffing, I get to my feet and begin to pace the apartment. I can hear Maisie whining again, scratching at the wall. I pause by the wall and listen. I can hear Will’s low, sexy voice comforting Maisie and it makes me melt all over again. He truly is the perfect man. An animal lover, so gentle, yet so rough around the edges, almost like an animal himself. I know for a fact that he’d throw me around easily, his strong arms scooping me up with ease. The thought leaves me breathless.

  But I need to stop torturing myself. Why am I even thinking about this when I’m fully aware that he’ll never be mine? It’s stupid and it’s only going to hurt me even more. I should just block him out of my head. I should just pretend like it was all a dream. Because dreams can never become reality, and that’s one thing I need to get through my head and my heart about us.

  It’s never going to happen.

  I wander back through to the office on autopilot and sit down in front of my laptop again. Nothing has changed, really. The couple upstairs is still arguing. I can still hear the baby down the hallway crying. Maisie is still scratching at the walls.

  But everything is different now. Knowing that Will is just within reach. Knowing that he’s so perfect for me and that I can never have him. He’s the one, the only one. But here I am, sitting alone.

  I walked away from him because I had to. I didn’t want to shatter the perfect illusion of those few minutes. Not when I knew in the long term, I could never have what I want. There are a million reasons why he and I can’t be together, but I only need one reason that we’re right together to cling to. It’s enough to make me want him forever.

  I feel my hands trembling as I lift them from my lap and place them over the keys of my laptop. The words begin to flow out of me for the first time in months. All of a sudden, I have so much to say. I have so many feelings that I need to release, so many fantasies to put down on paper. Maybe I can never be with him, can never truly know what it’s like to be at his side. But I’m a writer, and fantasies are what I feed off. At least I can be with him between the pages of my story, if not between the sheets of his bed. I can imagine how it could be if things were different.

  The tears on my cheeks come hot and fast. I’m such a fool to let this get to me. It’s insane when I barely know the man, I’ve only spent a few minutes of my life with him. But he’s taken a hold of my heart with just one interaction and he’s never letting go, whether he knows that or not. There will never be another like him. I know that now. I might be young and naive, but there are some things that are set in stone for me.

  And he’s one of them.

  It’s only now, as I stare at the pages I’ve typed out, that I realize how deep I am in this. I have so much to say about him that I’ve spent more time typing than I have in his presence. I laugh bitterly to myself. I wish I’d never gone over there because now I have to live with the torture of life without him.

  And then there’s my dad. He’ll get to see Will all the time. They’re buddies, after all. One of the many reasons I can’t have Will in the way that I want him. He’s got all of the luxuries that I wish I had. I shake my head to myself. Maybe if my dad wasn’t in the equation, I wouldn’t have left Will’s apartment. I would have held on longer, had more hope. But as much as I love my dad, I can see exactly how he’d respond to all of this. He’d be so angry with me for wanting something I shouldn’t. He’d lay down boundaries, take control, remind me that I’m a young fool in love and that I don’t know what I want.

  But I do. I want Will. Sometimes, things just click into place, and this is one of those times. Everything felt right for just a minute when we were together. The rest of the world didn’t exist. But out here, in the cold, harsh reality, I know that it can never be. Wanting it isn’t enough. It would turn our worlds upside down. Hell, I don’t even know if Will wants anything to do with me. So chasing this is pointless. It’s time to let it go.

  I sit back in my chair and stare at the words on my screen.

  I read through the pages and pages of declarations I’ve made. It’s the best writing I’ve produced in a long time. Maybe ever. I laugh bitterly to myself. It only took falling in unrequited love for me to write something good. What a joke. But I guess I found my muse, maybe this whole thing will get me a good grade in college. Someday I might manage to move on with my life, find another, lesser man, and settle down.

  Maybe I’ll get married and have kids like I always wanted. But it won’t be as good as I wanted it to be. Because if it’s not with Will, then it’s barely even worth it. He’s my first and only love. I’ll never truly move on from this.

  Now I truly know the meaning of the phrase love is pain…

  Chapter Four

  Will

  I lay on the couch, cuddling Maisie close, thinking of Elle. Thinking of the fact that she’s alone next door. The fact that she could’ve stayed and no one would’ve had to know. We could have made memories here. We could have given in to these secret desires. We could’ve both found something I’m sure she’s searching for as much as I am. A release, a human connection, a lust-filled night. I swallow, trying not to think about it. I’ve been rock hard ever since she left and I don’t think that’s about to change any time soon. She’s always going to be on my mind. I know that now. There’s no escaping the way she’s made me feel.

  She’s awoken my heart.

  I don’t know what was worse being alone all those years or being alone in this very moment, knowing the woman of my dreams is just within reach. I want to go over there right now. I want to sweep her into my arms and kiss her. I want to strip every piece of clothing from her curvaceous body and explore every inch of her skin. I want to be with her in every way possible. I want to be inside her, plowing hard into her hot pussy, spilling my seed deep in her.

  And after that, I want it again. Over and over. I never want to leave her side. I want to put a baby inside her and live a life together. I know this isn't just some kind of crazy fantasy. This is real. This is how it’s meant to be. I just have to find a way to make it happen.

  But she’s the one who walked away, not me. She’s the one who cut the connection short. If she doesn’t want this, then what’s the point? If it was so easy for her to leave me behind, then there’s no chance she feels the way that I do. I guess that’s impossible anyway because I’m consumed by this feeling. I’ve thought of nothing else, no one else.

  Perhaps she can never understand. I’ve spent a lifetime yearning for this, waiting for it to come along. She’s young, practically still controlled by her hormones. She’s probably crushed on a million guys, maybe even slept with some of them. I clench my fists at my sides, jus
t thinking about her with another man, making Maisie jolt nervously.

  “Sorry,” I whisper to Maisie, but the anger inside me remains.

  The thought of Elle with anyone other than me, it’s too much to bear. It makes me want to tear apart any man who has touched her before me. She’s mine. Even before I knew her, my claim was there. Because I know somehow that this thing with her, it’s meant to be. Even if it sounds crazy, even if it is in practice…I need her. I can’t live without her. I have to find a way to get her back here, to make her realize her own feelings.

  Can she ever feel as strongly as I do, though? What if she doesn’t want to settle down? I don’t know many twenty-one year olds who are ready for a lifelong relationship, and I won’t settle for anything less. Not a one-night stand, not a short relationship that burns out like the wick of a candle. No, she has to be mine forever. Nothing else will do. But how can I convince her that she wants it too if she’s already walked out of my life?

  I close my eyes and listen hard, hoping to hear some indication of what she’s doing next door. Maybe she’s in bed for the night now. Or she’s slowly undressing, ready to settle down for the evening. I growl under my breath. I guess Maisie has finally had enough of my grumpy mood because she gets up and runs off to her bed. I’m freaking her out, and myself too. These feelings are so sudden and so strong. I’ve never felt this way before. Now, I’m consumed by my primal instincts, these animalistic desires that have been buried in me for so long. Now, there’s no caging this beast again. I’m a man who knows what he wants and I have to get it.

  And I will.

  I stand and begin to pace the apartment. Elle is probably concerned about her dad. He’s certainly crossed my mind a few times. He would hate if he knew that we connected today in the way that we did. It’s a good thing he isn’t here. If that’s what’s stopping Elle then I can’t blame her. She doesn’t want to betray his trust.